I see this a lot in practice, even when two people feel like they’re putting in the same effort.
Sometimes it comes up when I’m coaching a couple together, but more often it shows up in a slightly different way. I’ll be working with someone who is actively trying to lose weight, and they’re comparing themselves to a friend, partner or colleague who isn’t being coached by me at all. They might have started around the same time, be eating fairly similar meals, or even be doing the same walks or classes together.
A few weeks in, one person feels like things are ticking along nicely, while the other feels like progress is slower, more stop-start or harder to predict. That’s usually when the doubt creeps in:
- Why does it seem easier for them?
- Why am I not losing weight as fast?
- Am I doing something wrong?
In my experience from weight loss coaching people, it’s actually much simpler and much less personal than it feels at the time. It rarely comes down to effort or willpower. Much more often, it reflects differences in appetite, daily movement, recovery, body composition and dieting history.
Two people can be doing sensible things consistently and still see very different results.
Weight loss rarely starts from the same place
One of the biggest reasons weight loss speed differs is simply where someone is starting from.
People with more weight to lose often see quicker changes early on. Some of this is fat loss, but some of it is also shifts in water weight and stored carbohydrate. Someone closer to their goal weight usually sees smaller changes from the beginning, even if they’re doing everything “right”.
People’s dieting history plays a role too. Those who are dieting for the first time often respond quickly to fairly simple changes, because their body has not had to adapt to repeated periods of calorie restriction before. For people who have dieted on and off for years, the body tends to be more efficient with energy. Hunger signals are often stronger, energy expenditure can drop more easily when intake is reduced, and the margin for error is smaller. Progress can still happen, but it may be lower and less predictable, even when the approach is more structured and consistent.
Life stage plays a role as well. Sleep quality, work stress, family demands and recovery all affect how the body responds. None of this means weight loss can’t happen. It just means the same approach doesn’t always produce the same outcome for everyone.
Appetite and hunger shape how hard weight loss feels
One of the biggest differences I see between people has nothing to do with motivation or knowledge. It’s how hunger feels day to day.
Some people naturally experience strong hunger early, think about food more frequently with constant food noise and feel pulled towards eating even when meals are planned. Others feel relatively neutral between meals and find structure easier to stick to without much mental effort.
When hunger noise is louder, maintaining a calorie deficit takes more effort. Two people can eat similar meals on paper, but one feels like they’re constantly negotiating with themselves, while the other feels mostly fine. That difference alone can explain why weight loss feels easier for one person than another.
That difference is shaped by a mix of genetics, dieting history and learned eating behaviours, and it’s something people have far less direct control over than they often assume. That said, with the right structure, habits and support, those signals can often be managed better over time, even if they never disappear completely.
Daily movement differences quietly add up
Not all calorie burn comes from workouts.
A large chunk of daily energy use comes from movement people don’t consciously track. Small differences repeated every day add up over a week without anyone noticing. Things that often differ include:
- How much someone walks as part of daily life such as getting their 10,000 steps per day
- Whether they sit at a desk most of the day or move frequently
- How naturally restless or still they are (I fidget loads!)
Two people can do the same gym sessions and still burn very different amounts of energy overall. This is one of the reasons weight loss speed can differ even when effort looks similar.
What metabolism actually is and how it fits in
I’ve spent over a decade training people, and “metabolism” is the one thing almost everyone gets wrong. It isn’t just a “metabolism speed” that some people are lucky enough to have. It’s the total amount of energy your body uses each day, made up of several different components.
Metabolism includes:
- Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)
- The calories your body burns just to stay alive and keep organs functioning.
- NEAT (Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis)
- Calories burned through daily movement like walking, standing, fidgeting and general activity outside the gym.
- EAT (Exercise Activity Thermogenesis)
- Calories burned during planned exercise such as gym workouts, running or cycling.
- TEF (Thermic Effect of Food)
- The energy used to digest, absorb and process the food you eat.
Muscle mass and movement are the big levers within this system. People with more muscle tend to burn slightly more energy at rest, and people who move more throughout the day burn more overall, even if they never do formal exercise.
Where people get misled is thinking metabolism is fixed, or something they are stuck with forever. In reality, it’s a dynamic system. Two people eating similar diets can still experience very different outcomes because their total energy use across the day isn’t the same.
Muscle mass deserves specific mention, not because it sits outside metabolism, but because of how it affects how people cope.
People with more muscle often tolerate dieting and training better. They may feel stronger, recover more easily and manage hunger with less friction. That doesn’t mean they lose weight effortlessly, but it can make the process feel more manageable.
Energy availability explains why pushing harder doesn’t always help
Weight loss isn’t just about how much someone eats. It’s also about how much energy the body has left once everything else is accounted for.
If someone is training hard, sleeping poorly, stressed at work and constantly busy, their body may experience a calorie deficit very differently to someone who is well rested and less stressed, even if food intake looks similar.
Low energy availability often shows up as:
- Increased hunger
- Poor recovery
- Low mood
- Flat or inconsistent training sessions
- Slower or unpredictable weight loss
In these situations, pushing harder usually backfires rather than helping.
The gut microbiome: a piece of the puzzle, not the whole picture
I get asked about the gut microbiome constantly, and while the science is genuinely interesting, it’s rarely the main thing holding people back.
The microbiome, which is the trillions of bacteria living in your digestive tract, does play a role in how you process food. Research suggests that some bacteria are more efficient at extracting energy from food than others, and they can also influence appetite and cravings through the gut–brain axis.
Where I see people get stuck is trying to fix their gut in isolation. It’s common for people to spend money on supplements or “gut resets” while ignoring the basics that tend to have the biggest impact. While gut health matters, it’s rarely the sole barrier to progress.
In practice, most people see better results when they focus on things like:
- Consistent fibre intake from a variety of whole foods
- Managing stress and sleep, which directly affect gut health
- Eating enough protein to support muscle and satiety
Why comparison almost always backfires
Comparing weight loss progress is one of the quickest ways to lose confidence.
You don’t see someone else’s struggles, you only see the outcome. Social media and casual conversations tend to show highlights, not the full picture.
It’s very easy to lose faith in an otherwise sensible approach simply because someone else appears to be progressing faster. Weight loss isn’t a race, and treating it like one usually creates more problems than it solves.
What actually matters if weight loss feels slower for you
If weight loss feels slower for you, it’s understandable to feel frustrated. That frustration doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Bodies respond differently.
Over time, the people who tend to do best aren’t the ones who lose weight quickest, but the ones who find an approach they can live with. Progress that feels manageable is far more likely to last than progress built on constant struggle.
FAQs
Why do some people lose weight faster than others?
Weight loss speed differs because people vary in appetite, daily movement, muscle mass, recovery, stress levels and dieting history. Even when effort looks similar, these factors influence how easy it is to maintain a calorie deficit.
Why am I not losing weight even though I’m eating less?
Eating less does not always mean you are in a consistent calorie deficit. Small increases in portions, snacks, drinks or weekend intake can easily offset reductions elsewhere, even when meals feel lighter. Weight loss usually stalls not because someone is doing nothing, but because the overall deficit is smaller or less consistent than it seems.
Why is weight loss so hard for some people?
Weight loss tends to feel harder when hunger is louder, stress is higher, sleep is poor or someone has a long history of dieting. These factors increase friction, even when motivation is high.
Does metabolism affect how fast you lose weight?
Metabolism matters, but it includes muscle mass and movement as well as resting energy use. Most differences people notice aren’t extreme metabolic problems.
Do genetics affect weight loss speed?
Genetics can influence appetite, fat storage and muscle mass, but they don’t determine success or failure. Habits and consistency still matter most over time.
Is slow weight loss a bad thing?
No. Slower weight loss is often more sustainable and easier to maintain long term.
Support with weight loss
If weight loss feels confusing, frustrating or harder than you expected, having support can make a big difference. I help people lose weight in a realistic, sustainable way, whether that involves nutrition, training, habits or simply cutting through the noise.
If you want help understanding your own situation and building an approach that fits your life, you can find out more about my online weight loss coaching or book a free consultation to talk things through.
