I work with a range of clients. Most are weight loss coaching clients, but I also work with people who want to get fitter, build muscle, or improve their performance in running, cycling or another sport.
Although it is fairly rare, every now and then something comes up that is always a bit frustrating, not because of the client, but because of what it leads to.
From time-to-time, people don’t tell me when they are struggling and hide it from me.
There is nothing worse than losing a coaching client because they have quietly given up, when if they had just been honest, I could have helped them through it.
What Do I Mean By Hiding From Your Coach
When I say hiding, I do not mean anything dramatic. It is usually quite subtle, and some people do not even realise they are doing it.
It might look like this:
- Not logging everything properly in your food tracking
- Skipping a workout but saying things have been fine
- Giving very short or surface level updates
- Taking longer and longer to reply to messages
- Not answering questions your coach has asked you on WhatsApp
- Saying “all good” when it clearly has not been
- Simply not mentioning the thing you are struggling with
It is rarely intentional. It is usually just a reaction to things not going to plan.
Why People Hide When They’re Struggling
There are a few common reasons for this, and they are all very human:
Thinking You’re Too Busy Or Too Stressed
This is a big reason that can make some people go quiet.
Life gets busy. Work ramps up. Family stuff kicks off. Stress levels go up. And suddenly it feels like you just do not have the time or headspace to deal with your fitness or your weight. So instead of saying that out loud, people often pull back.
But in reality, this is usually the exact moment you need more coaching support, not less.
Because when stress is high and routines fall apart, that is when people become less active, eat more reactively, sleep worse, and gradually gain weight. It is not a coincidence, it is a pattern.
Another part of this is the pressure to be perfect. If you cannot train properly or stick to everything, it feels like there is no point showing up at all. So instead of saying “the last few weeks has been tough”, people say nothing or think “I will pause and come back to it”. That is a big mistake as what you are doing does not need to be perfect – it just needs to be good enough.
As a coach, helping people with things like stress, conflict or time management is a key part of my job. So if you ever feel too busy to engage, that is usually the exact moment you should be saying something, not hiding. You can’t fix something if you don’t try to fix it, and life is always full of ups and downs.
Feeling Like You’ve Failed
If you have had a week with too much food or missed sessions for other reasons, it can feel like you have undone your progress. That feeling of failure makes people want to avoid talking about it.
Not Wanting To Disappoint Your Coach
You have built a relationship and you want to be seen as someone who is doing well. You do not want to feel like you are letting your coach down.
Embarrassment Around Food Or Habits
This is a big one. Late night eating, comfort eating, skipping sessions, these are things people often feel they should have more control over.
I have been there myself. Years ago I would sometimes end up at McDonald’s late at night and not tell anyone about it. So I understand that feeling of wanting to keep things to yourself. It also means I won’t ever judge you!
Thinking You Should Be Able To Fix It Yourself
A lot of people think, “I will just get back on it next week” or “I will sort it out before the next check in”.
The problem is, that week turns into two, then three.
Avoiding The Problem
Sometimes it is just easier not to say anything. If you do not say it out loud, it feels less real.
Why Hiding Makes Things Worse
The intention behind hiding is usually to protect yourself from feeling uncomfortable, but in reality it just makes things harder.
If your coach does not know what is going on, they cannot help properly. They are working with incomplete information, which means the plan might not be right for what you actually need.
Small issues that could have been fixed quickly can turn into bigger problems. A couple of missed workouts becomes a missed week. A few off plan meals turns into feeling like you are completely off track.
The moment you start struggling is the moment coaching becomes most valuable. If that is the point where communication drops, you miss the exact support you signed up for.
What Happens When You Are Honest Instead
When someone is honest about what is going on, everything becomes easier to manage.
Problems get addressed quickly. Adjustments can be made straight away. The pressure drops because you are no longer trying to pretend everything is fine.
Almost every breakthrough I have seen with clients has started with a simple, honest message.
Something as straightforward as, “The last two days has not gone well” is more than enough to start moving things in the right direction again.
How I Help When Someone Is Struggling
This is a big part of what coaching actually is:
We Talk It Through
Sometimes it just takes a proper conversation to understand what is going on. That might be on a Zoom call where we can break things down properly and come up with a clear plan.
WhatsApp Check Ins
A lot of support happens day-to-day. Quick messages, small adjustments, and keeping things grounded so problems do not build up.
We Adjust The Plan
If something is not working, we change it. That might be training, nutrition, or just expectations around what is realistic for that week.
Tools And Strategies
Sometimes I will provide resources, worksheets, or simple approaches to help you manage situations better. Nothing complicated, just practical things that work. Sometimes we go deep though around behavioural change, self talk and visualisation.
Practising It Together
In some cases, we talk through scenarios and practise how to handle them. This builds confidence and makes it easier when those situations come up again in real life.
It is not about being perfect. It is about working through things and finding what works for you.
A Real World Example
A typical situation I see is someone having a tough couple of weeks, going a bit quiet, and starting to feel like they have slipped too far off track.
When they finally open up and explain what has been going on, we can usually identify the problem quite quickly. Maybe the plan needed change, maybe life got busy, or maybe there were habits creeping back in.
Once we adjust things and take the pressure off, they get back on track and often make better progress than before.
What You Should Do If You’re Struggling Right Now
If you are in that situation now, the best thing you can do is simple.
Send the message. Tell your coach. They won’t judge you.
You do not need to explain everything perfectly. You do not need to have a solution.
Just be honest.
That is where progress starts again.
Why Coaching Only Works If You Use It Properly
You hired a coach for a reason. Not just for a plan, but for support, guidance, and accountability.
Your coach is in your corner. They have seen these situations before, not just with you but with many clients over the years – and quite often with themselves.
You do not need to impress your coach. You need to use them.
Ready To Get Proper Support?
If you want coaching where you can be honest about what is actually going on and get real support rather than just a plan, that is exactly what I offer.
You will have ongoing support through WhatsApp, regular Zoom check ins, and a plan that adapts to you, not the other way around.
You can book a free consultation.
No judgement, no pressure, just support when you need it most.
