As an online weight loss coach, there are sometimes some tough topics that get discussed, and this is one of them.
Making a big change in your life is exciting. Whether it’s losing weight, getting fitter, or pursuing a new goal, these moments can feel empowering and transformative. But sometimes, these changes come with unexpected challenges—like losing friends. It’s not something people talk about often, but it happens. And it can hurt.
Fortunately, as a coach, it is not something I see often. But sometimes a client may have a friend or family member who starts to act differently towards them as whatever change they are making – whether that is weight loss, some kind of an exciting challenge or mental shift – starts to become more apparent.
The Changing Dynamic
Friendships are built on shared experiences and understanding. When you start making significant changes to your life, the dynamic between you and your friends may shift.
Maybe you were the one who always ordered pizza and wine on a Friday night. Now, you’re suggesting a walk in the park or a healthy dinner instead. That can feel jarring to others, even if it’s coming from a place of positivity. People can feel left behind or even threatened when you grow in ways they don’t. It’s not necessarily about you—it’s about how your changes make them reflect on their own lives.
Jealousy and Insecurity
This one’s tough, but it’s real. Seeing someone else succeed can sometimes highlight our own insecurities. If a friend has been struggling with their weight, fitness, or self-confidence, your progress might make them feel worse about themselves.
It’s not that they don’t want you to succeed—they probably do. But your journey might unintentionally shine a light on the things they wish they were doing. This can lead to distance or even resentment.
Fear of Change
People like stability. When you make a big change, it can disrupt the status quo of your friendships. Maybe your Saturday mornings used to involve long lie-ins and lazy brunches, but now you’re up at 7am for a gym session. Perhaps you’re saying “no” to late-night drinks because you’ve got a run the next day.
For some friends, this shift can feel like losing the “old you.” They might struggle to adapt to your new priorities and feel like they don’t fit into your life anymore.
The Hard Conversations
Sometimes, losing friends isn’t about subtle drifting—it’s about direct conflict. Maybe they make snide comments about your choices, roll their eyes when you talk about your progress, or try to tempt you into old habits. These moments are painful. They force you to decide whether to stand firm in your changes or compromise to keep the peace.
Standing your ground can sometimes lead to losing those friendships, especially if the other person isn’t willing to meet you halfway. But remember, true friends support your growth—even if it’s hard for them to understand.
Reading The Room – Don’t Cause Issues Yourself
When you’re passionate about your new lifestyle, it’s easy to get carried away talking about it. You want to share your success, your tips, and how great you feel—and that’s natural. But sometimes this may work against you.
Try to read the room. Not everyone will be in the same place as you, and that’s okay. If a friend is struggling, endless chatter about your achievements might feel overwhelming or even dismissive of their challenges. Celebrate your wins, but do so with humility. Remember, actions often speak louder than words. Let your progress inspire quietly rather than dominate conversations.
By being mindful of how you share your journey, you can maintain relationships while staying true to your path.
Finding the Silver Lining
Here’s the good news: while you might lose some friends, the right ones will stick around. Change often reveals who’s genuinely in your corner. The people who love and support you unconditionally will cheer you on, no matter what.
And, as you grow and evolve, you’ll naturally attract like-minded people. Maybe you’ll meet someone in your new fitness class who becomes a close friend. Perhaps a casual acquaintance will surprise you with how supportive they are.
It’s also an opportunity to deepen your relationships with those who truly matter. When you’re confident and happy in yourself, you bring more to your friendships. You’ll be able to invest in connections that align with the person you’re becoming.
Lessons in Strength
Losing friends through big life changes isn’t easy, but it teaches you something valuable: resilience. It’s a reminder that your journey is about you—not about pleasing others. You don’t want to become a selfish person of course, but you are allowed to grow, evolve, and pursue a life that makes you happy.
If you’ve lost friends because of your changes, know that it’s okay to grieve those relationships. But don’t let it stop you from moving forward. Your growth matters, and the people who truly care about you will recognise that.
A Positive Future
Big changes can be lonely at times, but they also open the door to incredible opportunities. You’ll discover new strengths, meet new people, and build a life that feels authentic to you. True friends—the ones who stick by you—will only add to that joy.
So, keep going. Embrace the changes you’re making and trust that, in the end, the right people will always stay by your side.
I can help you…
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